Steve Jobs recent gaunt appearance has sparked rumors of illness and is ultimately being blamed for the huge drop in Apple stock value. Well, fear no more investors, we have the answers. Hormones are not too blame. It is a simple case of technology. As illustrated by the photos above, as the iPod, iPhone and laptops get thinner and thinner, he proportionately shrinks as well. Duh. We were concerned that when the Mac Air came out that Jobs would disappear completely any time he stood sideways…but so far, his physique seems to be more in line with the Nano.

We continue diligently to get to the bottom of the final question:? Is this just a well crafted marketing ploy to show that smaller is better, even in people…or is Jobs in fact a robot and advances in technology have allowed he and his robot army to make a smaller, more streamlined version of himself. Stay tuned for further updates on The Case of the Incredible Shrinking CEO.

PS- if you would like to hire us as your detective agency, we are now “moonlighting” as mystery solvers. Qualifications? We’ve watched every Bloodhound Gang episode and we love Magnum PI’s mustache. Take that Maddy Hayes.