Californians love their cars. We love their clever license plates.

Who’s ready for another exciting round of BUMPER STUMPERS?!

Uhh- St. Louis spells it with one “M” so we are assuming you aren’t talking about football. Perv.

RADAM would have been cooler.

More like T-Bragger.

Oh wait? Are you offering a three-way…via your vanity plate? Who could say no to that kind of classy invite?

Laura’s bday is today, 8/28.  Eileen’s bday is tomorrow, 8/29.

Laura was told she looked like Potsie in highschool.  Potsie is a boy and Laura is a girl.  In college, a boy at a bar told Eileen she looked like Helen Mirren.  Helen Mirren was in her 50s and Eileen was in her 20s.

Sadly, both these stories are completely true and not an exercise in creative writing.

Because sometimes our friends are way funnier than we are….

Let’s say you were 21-years-old and had just inherited 1 million dollars…would this be the first thing you’d want to do with your newly acquired riches? Obviously. Thanks Barry/Travis for sending us this little gem:

Click on this and the audio player will open:
BEST* PORCHE DEALERSHIP PRANK CALL

Click here for more geniusness and cowlicks from Barry.

Oh hi bandwagon! Yes, thank you for stopping, we would love to jump on…

Things we are are holding against Ryan Jenkins:
1. He was on a reality show
2. Ridiculous hair (including the waxed eyebrows)
3. He watched just enough CSI re-runs to really make him look stupid. Didn’t you see Season 9: Episode Five, douchebag? Teeth and fingers? That is sooo Season 3. Even Spencer Pratt would know to ditch the silicone if he was planning to off his fake wife and leave her in a dumpster.

4. He’s a murderer

Teaser Number 2.
SPOILER ALERT: If you want to wait and watch the video of the biggest, rawest, best lit, slow-motionest, fight in the history of Best Company (yes, bigger than the arm wrestling/mariachi event of ‘08) - then definitely do not look at these giant stills that we pulled from the footage…hold out until next week when we release the video. But if you are into a little visual foreplay before indulging your voyeuristic Battle Royal fetish…then by all means, click on these and make ‘em larger.

FULL GRATUITOUS SLOW MO VIDEO WITH PERFECTLY SUITED SOUNDTRACK TO COME NEXT WEEK…

We are sure all 8 of our loyal readers were wondering why there was no post Monday. And we’re happy to report that our absence was, in fact, for the reasons you were suspecting:

1. We got in a fist fight.
2. Someone had to go to the hospital.
3. We did a major shoot in San Francisco and didn’t have access to the blog.

Photos below of the lead up to the battle royale. Video to come eventually.

It was just an ordinary BEST* night at dinner…30 bucks in food, 60 bucks in booze. All was fine until while waiting for the bill, two drunk dudes tried to talk to us. To paint the proper picture, GUY 1 looked 15, was dressed in head to toe Gap Khaki and had a sunburn in the shape of oakleys. GUY 2 was in seersucker pants, a navy blazer, an ascot and his teeth were glowing white. We are also pretty sure he had a spray tan and a bodywave. Below are some of our favorite excerpts from the conversation:

———–
BEST1:
Aren’t you wearing a wedding band?

GUY1:
That doesn’t mean I can’t share my ideas…

————

GUY 2:
I told you, I’m from New York.

BEST 2:
Wait - where in New York did you say you were from?

GUY 2:
Michigan.

————

GUY 1: You know the youngest couple to ever have a kid were 7 and 8 years old…in China.

BEST 2: Why are you telling us that?

GUY 1: Cause I could be your father.

————-

GUY 2: Why are you getting so mad at me?

BEST 1: Because you can’t reason with crazy.

BEST 2 : I believe this conversation is over.

GUY 2 (As we walk away): Wait…I like you…

BEST 1: Suck it Mr. Howell.

BEST 2: Nice burn!

(high-five)
———–

We didn’t see that movie, that either starred Nicholas Cage or Jim Carrey, where there is some clue hidden in sequences of numbers…but whatever movie that was with whoever in it might have been onto something. Look at all these crazy numbers appearing in our life.

First- look how many views we have on our holiday video:

Then…Look at our bocce ranking: “Bocce Said She Was 18″

I mean we all know what 69 means. And 17? 1 + 7 = 8…and if you turn 8 sideways it looks like boobs. So clearly, all signs are pointing to the obvious. We are whores. Damn you numerology. Damn you Nicholas Cage. We will prove you wrong. We’re not whores…we just are gonna go grab a drink before we set out to prove…

10PM EST UPDATE: Numbers don’t lie. We are whores.

About a month ago we put up a comment box:

After 30 days we only had 4 comments, not counting the sample one we put up.

And here they are

Clearly we work with a highly intelligent, mature, communicative and professional pool of people.

We figured the best way to wrap up the Bocce King series was to put ourselves in it…although now we are so uncomfortable seeing what we look like running and jumping in our uniforms that we refuse to watch it.  But after BocceSaidSheWas18’s back-to-back wins on Tuesday night, we have to admit that Giuseppe Napoli actually did “Improve Our Game By A Lot-Fold!”™

Thanks again to Derek Miller for his flair and elan & Adam Svatek for his badadingdingding!  Oh and suck it Lavazzoli!