If you want to be totally grossed out to the point where you might vomit, google “harlequin baby” and have a bucket standing close by. Thank you to Carrie G. for dropping this on our radar.

William Safire, Political Columnist and Oracle of Language, Dies at 79

Cancer - 1, Grammar - 0.

(FULL STORY HERE)

It may come as a shock to most of you that we are in a premiere sports magazine (probably because you’ve seen how we put away Costco-sized bottles of Patron in a night) .

Well, to be honest, we also found it pretty fucking shocking.  But nevertheless, this months issue of Volleyball Magazine (on newsstands now) features BEST* in bikinis on the beach on page 36.

Suck on that Coach F who never played Eileen when she was on the JV team in highschool…

Sorry- we fucked up.  Sorry.  But to make it up to you, here is a little video game we like to play called “Find Your Dad”

Before he was your Pops he was just a lonely man with needs-and incredibly blue eyes or a mustache, or sand on his tuxedo.

You know how when you got a cast on your arm in fifth grade and then after three weeks it started to smell kind of funny and when it got removed a layer of dark hair had sprouted underneath it…well imagine what this shit will smell like.

Not cute.

(click image to make larger)

Meditate on THAT.

So wait, we’re confused. When you’re at a bar that only serves wine and beer, doesn’t everyone drink spritzers? Guess our beverage choice was novel enough to inspire a photo shoot…and then poster making contest. The winner is our friend JR who replaced the framed copy of “Footprints” that was hanging in his cubicle, with this inspirational poster:

We see your poster design and raise you one cliched catchphrase normally reserved for cats. (catphrase?)

But we certainly did not leave the 2009 Beach Bocce Finals as losers. Guess who took home the two most coveted trophies in the league (not counting the actual trophy for winning the league)? That’s right Bocce Said She Was 18 walked away with Best Team Name and Rookie of the Year. It’s an honor just to be nominated- but it’s way fucking cooler to hail a cab with two bronze bocce ballers mounted proudly atop red, white and blue shafts. And yes, we slept with the trophies that night (in seperate beds, at seperate houses you pervs).

As you can see, we have added them to our already well endowed trophy shelf. Look how proudly they sit surrounded by our Art Directors Club Gold Cube, Laura’s swimming medal and Eileen’s plaque for winning Queen.

Also, for the record, when they announced the Best Dressed winners (which we also thought we had in the bag) we didn’t run up on stage and ruin their acceptance speech. You know why? Because we are not bitches. So suck it Kanye.

Isn’t it just crazy?! Zach Galifianakis likes to make videos and we do too! We have so many things in common. Like he has a beard and we love beards. He is in movies and we watch movies. The connection is so powerful and intense. Which is why we will have so many things to talk about when we finally meet him…tomorrow, at his home, while he is taking out the trash and we jump out of the tree onto the sidewalk to give him the collage we made out of picutres of him and letters we cut out of the newspaper. Awesome!

SECRET GIRLFRIEND SERIES PREMIERE: UP TO YOUR NECK from Best Company on Vimeo.

We dare you to sit in a dark room and watch this spot 10 times in a row without totally freaking out… It’s actually amazing that this spot ever saw the light of day. There is a fine line between the joyful laughter of children and the maniacal cackling of insanity.

Line crossed.

(thanks to Kate & Shea for the inspiration)