Laura’s bday is today, 8/28.  Eileen’s bday is tomorrow, 8/29.

Laura was told she looked like Potsie in highschool.  Potsie is a boy and Laura is a girl.  In college, a boy at a bar told Eileen she looked like Helen Mirren.  Helen Mirren was in her 50s and Eileen was in her 20s.

Sadly, both these stories are completely true and not an exercise in creative writing.

It was just an ordinary BEST* night at dinner…30 bucks in food, 60 bucks in booze. All was fine until while waiting for the bill, two drunk dudes tried to talk to us. To paint the proper picture, GUY 1 looked 15, was dressed in head to toe Gap Khaki and had a sunburn in the shape of oakleys. GUY 2 was in seersucker pants, a navy blazer, an ascot and his teeth were glowing white. We are also pretty sure he had a spray tan and a bodywave. Below are some of our favorite excerpts from the conversation:

———–
BEST1:
Aren’t you wearing a wedding band?

GUY1:
That doesn’t mean I can’t share my ideas…

————

GUY 2:
I told you, I’m from New York.

BEST 2:
Wait - where in New York did you say you were from?

GUY 2:
Michigan.

————

GUY 1: You know the youngest couple to ever have a kid were 7 and 8 years old…in China.

BEST 2: Why are you telling us that?

GUY 1: Cause I could be your father.

————-

GUY 2: Why are you getting so mad at me?

BEST 1: Because you can’t reason with crazy.

BEST 2 : I believe this conversation is over.

GUY 2 (As we walk away): Wait…I like you…

BEST 1: Suck it Mr. Howell.

BEST 2: Nice burn!

(high-five)
———–

We figured the best way to wrap up the Bocce King series was to put ourselves in it…although now we are so uncomfortable seeing what we look like running and jumping in our uniforms that we refuse to watch it.  But after BocceSaidSheWas18’s back-to-back wins on Tuesday night, we have to admit that Giuseppe Napoli actually did “Improve Our Game By A Lot-Fold!”™

Thanks again to Derek Miller for his flair and elan & Adam Svatek for his badadingdingding!  Oh and suck it Lavazzoli!

…it would be called SIX MAN. It’s a huge volleyball tournament in Manhattan Beach (more on that in later posts). And while we did play in it, we did not come anywhere near winning it. But we still consider the weekend a success because we found this:

Thank you to Elizabeth W. for the tattoo picture, to the Golden Girls for existing, to Mt. Rushmore and to America!

It’s Bocce King Episode 3 bitches.

So we came in second in the Funny Or Die poll on Facebook. Thanks for those who voted for us- we gave it a good run but apparently porn trumps funny. We aren’t bitter though because it’s Friday! AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS….YES! A new installment of Giuseppe Napoli for all to enjoy (and for Funny Or Die to hopefully pick up for the next poll).

EPISODE 3 is all about how the Bocce King spends his day…and you can bet whatever he does entails a lot of “flair” and “elan”

Improve your MONDAY afternoon by a lot-fold and watch episode 2:

Come back this Friday for Episode 3 of Giuseppe Napoli: Bocce King.

Again, special thanks to Derek Miller, Rachel Flotard, Erick Thundercloud, Brendan Doherty & best editor in the world: Adam Svatek

Improve your Friday afternoon by a lot-fold and watch episode 2:

Come back next Friday for Episode 3 of Giuseppe Napoli: Bocce King.

Again, special thanks to Derek Miller, Rachel Flotard, Erick Thundercloud, Brendan Doherty & best editor in the world: Adam Svatek

BEST* CUSTOM EMOTICONS ARE SO THREE THOUSAND AND FUCKING HILARIOUS!

***DESPERATELY SEEKING ANY PROGRAMMERS WHO CAN TURN THIS INTO AN EMOTICOMEDY APP.  WE WILL PAY FOR YOUR SKILLS WITH CUSTOM EMOTICONS OF YOUR FACE.

(as always click on the image to make it larger…)

Just when you thought the blog was getting stagnant and filled with only still photos and witty copy, we give you our Bocce Team Launch video. Made with no money, in and around our office, in under 4 hours, this is not just the unveiling of the uniforms for our bocce team: BOCCE SAID SHE WAS 18, it is also a tribute to one of the worst duet videos (with heavy sexual undertones) ever made. (Sidenote: “The Girl is Mine” was a runner up in our video selection process. That would’ve been a disaster.)

Too big to be housed on our blog, we have given it its own page. Go here asap and watch it. It may take a minute to load so be patient. Just like your first kiss or getting finger banged at the roller rink, it will be worth the wait and equally as awkward.

www.boccesaidshewas18.com

Special thanks to Sean Fazende for his shooting/editing skills!