We are willing to overlook the whole being 21 and pretending to be 14 thing if he at least used the age advantage to wipe the field with some pop-warner ass. But they said he wasn’t even that good. Didn’t he see “17 Again” starring Zac Efron? You are supposed to use these kind of chances to right your past wrongs and make out with grown woman who are actually your ex-wife, not waste them crying over a broken necklace. Pussy.
We learned a new term last night. And then we saw what it means. And now we wish we never learned it at all.
Want more shirt cocking? Can’t get enough of shirt cockers? Then by all means, click HERE.
Not to toot our own paranoid, doomsday horn, but we predicted this shit ages ago. Net neutrality as we know it is just about dead…This is just one of the items from the proposal offered by Google and Verizon.
A summary of the rest of the proposal is here- and it is worth reading.
Here’s the thing. We guarantee Youporn isn’t going to pony up the scrills to get into the internet E-Z Pass lane…but what is worse is, Wikilinks probably won’t be invited to either. And what will happen if all of you 17 loyal readers can’t get instant access to our brilliant WTF Wednesday posts? It’s all happening, just like we predicted. Next phase: a master race of robots that can maintain a blog, direct commercials and give blow jobs on a regular basis. Then we will really be out of a jo–wait a minute…that might not be that bad.
These two cataclysmic events will not overlap again until 2025…
The only thing better than digging into a Crab Lover’s Trio with a side of Garlic Crab-And-Shrimp encrusted Tilapia pasta, is doing it while watching a double feature of Ultimate Air Jaws and Shark Bite Beach.
If you liked Mega Shark vs. Giant Octupus…then you will love its SyFy follow up, Sharktopus.
Fuck yeah!
This thing could kick a wholphin’s ass any day. And by “this thing” we mean Eric Roberts’ career. The fish hybrid thingie is pretty badass too.
Classic.
Can’t wait until Pussy Jackson and the Olympians or Boy Story 3 - 3D (for 3 x the Dick) makes it to cable. Yep- inventing Porn names is pretty much our second favorite thing to do.
Are we to understand there was a first edition of this book?!
Click HERE for more gems like, “How To Date A White Woman” and “Why Paint Cats: The Ethics of Feline Aesthetics” courtesy of our friends over at The Huffington Post.
Seriously. The BEST* trophy shelf is so overloaded that we had to put this award on the window sill. It is really beautiful when the sun hits it and the refraction of the light creates an image on our desk of our careers being all down hill from here.
Pretty sure if hell has community events, like Car Fairs, this is one of them. Give the video to about :20 and you will see what we mean. Why does this make us feel sick inside? Is it the cutsom rape van? Nope…we’ve been in one of those before. The “White Wedding” dance moves with the monkey puppet? No…seen that like a million times. Oh, it must be THE FUCKING CLOWN AND HIS CREEPY, CLOWN LAUGH.
Not sure how to tell someone you love them on V-Day??
